Top Ten Tips for Surviving the African Bush

Tip # 10: Siafu

Siafu, the "safari" or "fire" ants, can be anywhere and they are more than just a pest. When they move from one nest, usually located in a tree, to another, they are an army on maneuvers. And millions of ants will not be deterred. They have been known to devour whole litters of puppies or new-born kittens that were in their path of egress. They can become very nasty when it rains, getting in your tent, shoes, or clothes. Once there, they will get on you.

And they have big, nasty pincers.

It is said that certain tribes use the big soldier ants to stitch up cuts, using their pinchers as the thread. They fall out over time, leaving the wound closed.

TIP: Pour the cold ashes from a fire around the tents or eating area. They won't crawl over the ash. If you don’t have ashes, try peeing around the area. I have never tried it, but I am told it works.

Tips # 9: Do drink the Water

Shaba sits on the edge of the Northern Frontier District (the NFD) and is considered semi arid. All things being equal, some water should be there year round. Of course, in Africa, all things are never equal. And with animals drinking and bathing (and whatever) in the water it is not always what you might want to drink. But you can get around that.

Finding water is one problem, its effect on your stomach is another. When the mineral level in the water gets very concentrated, it can act on your system much like a laxative. I am not sure the usual 'five minute boiling' rule will eliminate this. Soon you will be suffering from what the British, in their eternal quest to make things sound nicer than they really are, call a "runny tummy."

And a runny tummy, coupled with the heat, can result, very quickly, in often fatal dehydration.

TIP: Watch the elephants. They will dig for water where one would not think to look for it. And the Baboons. They will lead you to salt as well as other edible fruits. They have a digestive system similar to ours.

The trick to tap into Maji Safi (clean water) is to dig a hole in the sand about ten feet away from the main stream in the river. Take a can, like a large cooking oil can, and punch a few holes in the bottom. Then lower it about 8-10 inches into the sand. The water that seeps up through the sand will be remarkably clean. Ladle this out of the can into another container. It will be drinkable.

To make a rehydration drink, mix one quart of water with one teaspoon table salt, one-half teaspoon baking soda, four teaspoons cream of tartar, and four tablespoons sugar.

Tip # 8: Lions (Simba)

Lions tend to hunt in the cooler hours and rest at midday. They favor the shade of the trees and are difficult to spot. So. . . keep an eye on the giraffes.  If you see giraffes all looking in one direction, the chances are excellent that they are watching something that might prey on them. Like lions.

TIP: If confronted with a lion, freeze. DO NOT RUN. Then, shouting and waving your hands around like an Appalachian snake handler, slowly start to back up.

But with any animal, ALWAYS give it the chance- and a path- to escape. You do not want them to feel cornered and have only one option for escape, with that option being through you.

Tips # 7: Scorpions

You will definitely encounter Scorpions in Shaba. The very least you need to do is shake out your shoes and clothes before you put them on. But should you get a bit too up close and personal to a scorpion, try this: (I learned this from a Turkana warrior and I've seen it work.)

TIP: Spit at it. It will freeze in its tracks and you can flick it aside.

Should you get stung, however, here is an old "bush" trick to help ease what is going to be a VERY painful body part: 

Using the + and - of a battery and jumper cables, one can reduce the effect of the sting. Connect the cables to the car battery and to either side of the area that was stung. Turn the car engine over. The electric jolt does something to reduce the effect of the sting.

Tip # 6: Hyenas (Fisi)

Although Hyenas are scavengers and will come into any camp looking for food . . . (this is too obvious to count as a real tip, but, never leave food out. It is best to have it in a sealed tin box, but failing that, put it up a tree) they are also very bold hunters. While in your camp at night, looking for food, should your arm or leg be exposed, they will take a bite out of that and attempt to drag you off. As hyenas have extremely powerful jaws that are specifically designed to crush bone, it will be a significant bite. Hyenas’ "droppings" are white because of the crushed bone content.

TIP: If you do not have a tent, a mosquito net or any other cloth will offer some protection. Animals do not distinguish fabric from a solid wall and they usually won't attempt to go through it. (Well, a lion might, but this is about hyenas.)

Tip # 5: Cape Buffalo: (Mbogo or Nyati)

There is nothing, and I repeat nothing, more dangerous than an old, cranky, solo, male Cape Buffalo. Especially if startled out of a snooze. Buffalo favor thick bush for their naps and you won’t even see them until you are about to step on them. You don’t EVER want to surprise a buffalo, which are not content just pounding your legs into shards. They won't let up until you are hamburger meat. A buffalo has been known to wait under a tree for days until an already wounded person, stranded up in that tree, became too weak to hold on any longer. When the person fell, the Buff went after him again and finished him off.  

TIP: Never walk silently - with or without a big stick- in the bush. If you are alone, sing, shout, talk loudly, but make a lot of noise. The human voice carries a great distance and if the Buff hears you and jumps up, you will at least have some warning, like thirty seconds, before he charges. Never walk behind a bush to take a pee without throwing stones into the bush first. Again, make a lot of noise. Clap your hands, shout, or throw things.

If a buffalo comes for you?  Run like there's no tomorrow to the nearest tree, thorns and all, that can sustain your weight. Get up it. And stay there until help comes.

Tips # 4: Elephants Never Forget

There may have been efforts to keep the elephants away from the contestants in Shaba, but my guess is that they returned. Elephants (Ndovu or Tembo) are great creatures of habit and will return to their old watering holes year after year.

Elephants have bad eyesight, but a good sense of smell. Stay down wind of them.  You can try to "shoo" an elephant away, but I think it wiser to just slowly move out of the way. He may let you go, but then again he may charge. Whether that is a mock charge or a real one is often difficult to tell.

TIP: If only slightly irritated with or threatened by you, an elephant will make a mock charge. He will trumpet, flap his ears, throw his head around, and generally make a lot of fuss. But if he pins his ears back, lowers his head and curls his trunk up, he is serious. If he charges, mock or otherwise, get up a tree, only this time, aim higher than you did when it was a Buffalo!

Tips # 3: Eat Something

There are fish (samaki) in the small springs, and catfish in the river in Shaba. Remember to stand back from the water when fishing because you will not even see the croc when it hits you. Watch out for pythons in the springs.

There are also some rather tasty insects in Kenya. The Sausage bug, the male breeder of the safari ants, can be roasted to a nice crunch over a fire. And the flying ants (termites) that emerge (by the millions) with the first rains are excellent when fried up with a little oil, salt and pepper. And perhaps a little garlic?

TIP: Make a small cooking fire of hot coals out of range of the main campfire's heat and smoke. (Acacia, thorn trees, make the best firewood and the best coals as well.) A tin trunk, placed on top of the coals acts as an oven. You can cook birds, or fish or anything else much as you would in a conventional oven. Just place it on the coals and then heap more coals on top. In one hour you can have the best roast in "town."

Or try this: Wrap the fish in strips of clothing. Soak the whole thing in water and place it in the hot sand under the coals. Leave till morning. The fish should be at least two inch's below the base of the fire so as not to burn.  When the cloth is removed, the skin of the fish will peel off with it.

Tip #2: Here Comes the Sun

The biggest hazard of all, simply because you cannot avoid it, is the sun. Shaba is only 50 miles north of the Equator, and sits at the altitude of about 3000 feet with the sun directly overhead. The rays are short and powerful.

Temperatures in Shaba can reach well over 100 degrees Fahrenheit. The good news is that July and August is "winter" in Kenya and the occasional cloud cover will help. This is too basic to even bear being a real survivor tip...wear sunscreen (SPF 30) and cover up.

Heatstroke is the problem. Symptoms will be that the person in question stops sweating, and his skin is very dry and hot. Other symptoms include strong, fast pulse, very high temperature and confused, strange, or angry behavior. He may feel chilled, nauseated, or dizzy, and soon becomes unconscious.

TIP: Move the victim to a cooler area, into the shade, and if possible, soak them in water as cool as you can get. Fan them. Keep the victim lying down with his feet elevated. And hope the Flying Doctors are on their way.

And Finally...

Tip #1: The Ultimate Tip

This may not be universally well received, but I can guarantee you that anyone who has spent any time in East Africa will agree with me.  The single most important thing you need to know about surviving anywhere in Kenya this:

Use Bribery. It works. Not only does it work, it rules. It's the way things are done and it is built into the fabric of life.

There is almost nothing that cannot be bought for a price. It must be remembered that this is a country where, for those lucky enough to have a job, a very good wage is about 50 dollars a month. In the very remote area where this "game" takes place, the level of poverty is deeper than most of us can even fathom.

Bribery is called "chai," in Kenya. "Chai" actually means "tea" in Swahili and calling it that is meant to put a more friendly spin on the whole transaction. Which usually goes something like this:

"Oh, please, Mama," the old man in the parking lot, or the kid at your car window, or the cop who just stopped you for allegedly running a traffic light will say, "Won't you just give me something small? Something for a cup of chai?"

Now, I know this "tip" might technically be considered "cheating," but then again, this game, and it is a game, "to out wit, out play, out last," right? takes place in Kenya. And when in Kenya . . . this is how any game is played.

TIP: I would take with me little things that will fly under the radar of the screening/luggage search committee: an inexpensive watch, a baseball hat, any small, electronic equipment, a bright scarf, even T-shirts or other clothing. American one dollar bills would actually be the best thing to have. Then I would be ready, willing, and able to trade these items with any one of the camp guards, park rangers, or anyone else of the local folks who pass into your frame of reference, for whatever you need: matches, biltong, food, a knife, fish bait, salt, or wood.

The other thing to remember is: trust no one. The " rules of the game" are not American rules; they are African rules. Assume that no one is your buddy and everyone is out for number one. And CYOAF.